Contemplating life, as I always do at this time of the year. Well, it’s the in-between time, we have alsready had a new year, thanks to the solstice, but still we wait with anticipation for the 2nd new year on the 1st. This year, very soon in fact, I leave the realms of teenagerhood behind and embark on the next step, whatever that may be, of an even longer voyage. This, for me, is the most reflective time of the year. Just like I do every night, go through what’s happened to me in that day, I sit and think about the year that I/we’ve had, good bits, bad bits, and bits I’d rather forget all come to the front for one long last look before they get filed away in the 2005 filing cabinet.

My teens haven’t been the happiest of times, actually, at points they have been pretty hard. But I have learnt a tremendous amount, from people, from life, from the world. My opinions have been formed, conclusions made, and experiences had. Sometimes I still feel like the child I was, but don’t we all? My life is one that is constantly changing, sometimes slower than others, but as everything changes and evolves, so do I, and my life is made all the richer for it.

If I look back at the last 5 years, what has happened, the things I didn’t think ever would happen to me, I am amazed. The things I have achieved, however small, the steps made, and the tasks accomplished. I still have many dreams and aspirations, but I haven’t found my niche in life just yet. However I am absolutely positive that, like everything else in my life, it will come to me when I am ready for it, and not a moment before. There will be more challenges, monumental decisions and ups and downs, which will have to be faced with a courage that will sometimes eludes me.

But when I look at what I’ve got, the fact that I am loved by so many people, that I can do good deeds, empathise and change, I am grateful for everything I have. I will work on bettering myself, learning more, experiencing many more things, and trying to break down those barriers that have been erected by my past. I still have so much more to do before my time is done.

So, this is to everyone who reads, I wish you a good new year, may you realise your full potential, do great things, may your mind open and your horizons widen to the possibility of All That Is.

Goodbye 2005, hello 2006!

This year, xmas was magical. Not the magical childhood xmasses, where santa comes down the chimney and leaves you your heart’s desire, nor the skeptical xmasses of my early teens, this was different, but magical nonetheless. It all went to plan, with no hitches, crises, burnt bits (10 raisins, to be exact), shouting, illness, worry or stress.
The turkey was perfect (if a little large), perfectly cooked, the vegetables were all prepared by my commis-chef (a.k.a. The Fiancé) wonderfully, we sat at the table by scant candle-light and enjoyed the moments which, in all reality, are too fleeting. Presents made up a small part of the day, everything that I received was so perfect for me, and very creative for the most part. We spent the best quality time with each other. The cake was definitely lush, moist and everyones favourite, the dog got her presents too (which she enjoyed greatly) and the day was everything and more than I hoped it’d be.

I hope everyone else had as good a time as I know I did, and will have a very merry new year.

So…

“for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it’s Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - for me, this was one of the best xmasses ever” ~ with apologies to Love, Actually

The puds are now done! I am so pleased, my first xmas puds. There was a little accident with the first one (they are done in two smaller containers to halve boiling time) as it went into water that was a tad too deep and temporarily drowned. Thankfully it hadn’t got too wet, and was saved by my quick-wit and cunning :-D I am pleased to report that they are both happy, healthy xmas puds, weighing in at just over 1lb (550-600g approx.). As for fingers and toes, I’m hoping they don’t have any… I do have a great tip to make steaming/boiling quicker, once in their little containers, use a rubber band or three, with some baking parchment, to cover their little tops. Cruel as it may sound, it does help them cook a lot faster and more evenly, without them getting wet from steam condensation.

The scarf is coming along, after changing my mind and deciding to do it in one type of wool, instead of two, and using up the lilac wool that should’ve been a scarf many moons ago but never was. I am learning new stitches daily, this baby fern is so sweet and ridiculously easy to do. One day, I shall work up to a garment. I regularly threaten the Fiancé with a jumper, he eyes me with great suspicion and mumbles something (I don’t ask what hehe).

So, without further ado drumroll ifyouplease, I present, the beginning of yet another scarf!

[scarf artfully placed on book]

[a close-up of the pattern, it is much prettier in person]

Currently listening to:
Troika, composed by Prokofief, from the Lieutenant Kije Suite
For me one of the ultimate xmas songs…

It seems that finally everyone is feeling a little more xmassy at last. The tinsel is draped artfully over most objects in people’s homes, and the xmas lights are twinkling. Today was spent mostly recovering from the long drive that the Fiancé and I took on Friday. It is the MIL’s b’day this week, and the Fiancé wanted to get down to give her the presents (and of course, the xmas presents as well). Knowing full-well that the dog would not tollerate a room full of people she didn’t know, and not wanting to cause family ructions if, by some horrible turn of events, she decided to make a nuisance of herself, we took a detour via my mothers house where the dog and I stayed for the weekend. We had a great time, eating plenty and watching Love, Actually whilst bobbing up and down maniacally when Hugh Grant, as Prime Minister, dances around Downing Street. If you haven’t seen it, the film is an xmas must!

Tonight was spent in a far more laid-back way. Having done the last shop before xmas, bought more brussel sprouts than are really necessary, we got home exhausted. The Fiancé suggested we open the bottle of Pimms #3, the winter one, which was added to apple juice, with cinnamon and cloves. It was delicious. We also *bought* an xmas pud, but only for the container that it comes in, so I can make one myself ;-) We decided to sit listening to Jools Holland’s xmas special on Radio2, followed by a spectacular Big Band Christmas Special of which I am particularly fond, whilst drinking our gorgeous spiced Pimms concoction, eating xmas pud, in only the light of our xmas tree. We sat there cuddled for ages, until the call for bed was made. This is the best part of xmas for me, and it couldn’t have been any more magical.

Night night ladies, I’m off to dive under our warm duvet with my belovéd :-)

Well, it is the middle of winter, is it not? (Ok, not for Australian gals ~ sorry!) It is really starting to feel a little wintry here, it’s getting colder and we’re expecting snow (not an ideal situation to walk the dog in)!

So this is the time of year when there is nothing left to do but find comfort in the warmth of your own home, spend precious time with loved ones, and celebrate each others company. I feel like I should be baking, but I couldn’t be less in the baking mood if I tried! Next week, once this weekend is over, it will be hectic. Monday is a big baking and shopping day ~ gingerbread, xmas pud and the supermarket at its busiest! Sometime next week the lovely new dresser unit will be arriving (they cocked up the dates of the delivery, apparently), there are some personal gifts I’d like to get for people, although in theory we’ve done all of the xmas present shopping. Then on Friday, the eve of xmas eve, dawns the day when our turkey shall be ready to be picked up from our local farm-shop, and my mother arrives. I can’t wait!

Now off to walk the dog, before it gets pitch black (at 3.25pm no less!!) whilst humming some ‘Christmas with the Rat Pack’, all that’s left to be said now; ‘Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!’